Road cycling is rubbish: 10 reasons why

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road cycling

Cycling, invented sometime after the wheel but before the car, has been everything from a means of transportation, delivery service, to the more interesting part of your triathlon training. But you might be shocked to hear that it is not as glamorous as it looks, and in fact, might very well be the worst sport in the world…if it even is a sport! Here are 10 reasons that will likely put you off even learning to ride a bike!

1) Crazy cycling tan lines

Forced to train and cycle in all kinds of weather, when that sun is out you are going to get the craziest of tan lines you then have to hide or explain to non-cyclists. There is no way you are going to get the perfect tan for your holidays. People will be staring on the beach and not for the right reasons! Worse than those tan lines? Bumping into another crazy tan line person and realising you now have a cyclist buddy.

2) Terrible scenery

Through country roads, over mountains, around the world, maybe one of the worse things about cycling is the boredom. What is a person to look at and enjoy when cycling through the Alps, or on your local nature trails? Really how many times can you see ancient trees, sweeping skies, epic mountains and all sorts of wildlife before you just have to say enough with this terrible scenery, where is the TV?

road cycling

3) Everyone asks if you do the Tour de France

If you ride a bike, then, of course, you are training for or about to compete in, the Tour de France. Apparently, that is what everyone thinks since that is what they always ask. So if you have not got one yet you better get yourself a top cycling coach UK so you can give Neil Armstrong a run…or ride for his money. Wait maybe that should be Lance.

4) Having to shave your legs

Did you know all cyclists must shave their legs, otherwise they are booted out? Explain those chicken legs at your next summer BBQ to your dear Grandma. 

5) Is cycling even a real sport?

There are sports and there are hobbies. If there is no ball involved is that a real sport? Football, tennis, golf, rugby…real sports. Darts, cycling, tiddlywinks…fun pastimes. While you are triathlon training perhaps you could pick up a ball or two and start learning a real sport.

6) Show us your muscles!

While riding a bike might keep you fit, it is certainly not going to win you any strong person competitions. Great legs, awesome, but those stick arms look like Popeye before he eats the spinach. Sadly not something that is going to help cyclists. But if we need you to kick someone or hold someone up with their legs we know who to call.

cycling leg muscles

7) Becoming bike collectors

When you head to your cycling coach UK, you go there on one bike. When you enter a race or head to the trails, you ride on one bike. When you enter the Tour de France, and then withdraw, you ride on one bike. At home, you have 10 bikes and the kids have to sleep in a tent in the garden.

road bike collection

8) Going uphill

Admit it, you do what the rest of us do when going up the hill on a bike. Get off and walk!

9) Drivers are the enemy

You are keeping healthy, saving the environment, getting from one to another efficiently, but when you are on the roads and there are cars around you are probably the least popular one on the road.

10) Those very revealing cycling shorts

Some sports clothing designer is making good money and laughing at the same time.

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